"I. Am. Job."

I had my first-ever telephone interview today for an Internal Communications Intern at Amanda's sister Angie's place of employment. It was relatively painless, except for the part when I had verbal diarrhea FOR THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW. So it was probably on par with a happy trip to the dentist. It lasted 10 minutes, roughly, and I was asked four questions. Is that a normal length for a phone interview? Was that too few questions? They hate me, don't they. Maybe it was because I was drunk. I'll do better next time.

Actually, it was pretty much the first interview I've had all summer, not counting the "Facility Tour" I was scheduled to go on at UPS in Maple Grove. My mom, for whatever reason, thought I would make a good part-time package handler, so I applied. However, UPS requires handling of packages up to 70 LBS. on a regular basis. While package handling could have been fun and I think I could have proved myself a decent handler of packages of lesser size, I just don't think I'm capable of handling such enormous packages.

This is the longest period of unemployment for me since I graduated from high school. (Not counting when I went to Venezuela, I suppose, and that really doesn't count because A.) legally, I couldn't have a job there and B.) and this point is fully hitting me over the head only now - I was a millionaire there! Why didn't I roll around naked in a big pile of Bolivares?)

This time should be relaxing and nice and lovely and I should relish this not having of the jobs and the work to do, but it's kind of stressing me out. Looking for a job is practically a full-time job in itself, and on weekdays I feel like I can't go out and do the sort of relaxing summery things that my very soul is yearning for. Instead, I have to hide myself away inside from 9-5, writing cover letters and sending resumes and searching for jobs. If I'm going to slack off, I have to do it at my house, just in case a job falls out of the sky and I have to be there with my arms open, ready to wrestle it to the ground so it doesn't get away. And it kills me that I've been looking and applying and calling and writing. And... nothing.

Won't someone give me a job?

*Extra credit if anyone can tell me what movie the title of this post is from.