who stole my coke?

On the last day of class here at UMD, a strangely exhiliratingly sunny december 12, I found myself down in the venden* reading the Statesman*, drinking a coke. I finished up with the Statesman, once again amazed by some of the stuff they are allowed to publish and thinking that I could do so much better (I know, who am I kidding?)... anyway, I needed something else to do and not having any homework and not feeling like studying, I decided to go grab a Ripsaw*. I left the venden and ventured into the Bohannon concourse and snatched a Ripsaw, and then went back to my spot in the venden. To find my can of coke had disappeared. My already opened half-full can of coke.

Gross.

Now, call me crazy, but unless someone stole it to get a sample of my saliva to do DNA testing (I know I ain't fathered no kids but there is the distinct possibility that I have committed murder in the past few days... amanda - peep? oh never mind), stealing someone's can of coke is really only good if they haven't opened the can and drank from it and filled it with their gross cold germs and any other spooky fluids they may have floating around their body.

so this is my note to whoever stole my coke from the venden:
you owe me a can of coke and you're getting a nasty cold, jackass.

(*UMD and Duluth references for non-Duluthians:
venden: a big room full of 20 vending machines and many uncomfortable picnic-table-like "study" tables filled with students in various stages of eating, talking, and drooling facedown on their arms
the UMD Statesman: the high quality news publication of UMD. check out their site to see true journalistic integrity: http://www.d.umn.edu/statesman
the Ripsaw: "the News and Entertainment Weekly of the Twin Ports" - Duluth's alternative newspaper that I look forward to reading every week. Especially the cartoons. Check out their site too. http://www.ripsawnews.com

In other news, finals is upon me and I'm about to go have a study session for one of my two tests. good luck to all of you who have finals and papers left... Also, I would talk about the capture of Saddam this morning, but there is too much swirling around my brain to make sense of it all.